White House requiem: a hymn for the lying

Posted on December 11, 2007 by Ann Ivins under Republicans, politics [ Comments: 8 ]
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Let us now, in the flickering light of the Dubyadämmerung, cease our partisan squabbling to acknowledge those faithful who have sacrificed their honor, their sanity, their reputations or possibly even their souls to carry aloft the banner of Bushism. Let us remember those who have gone before.

And let us use their own words.

KARL CHRISTIAN ROVE
(2000-2007)
Deputy Chief of Staff; policy mastermind
These guys are obsessed with me …I’m Moby Dick and they’re after me. You know, I’m Beowulf, you know, I’m Grendel. I don’t know who I am. But they’re after me.

SCOTT MCCLELLAN
(2003-2006)
White House Press Secretary, next in line with a book to flog
I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so…

PAUL DUNDES WOLFOWITZ
(2001-2005)
Deputy Secretary of Defense; reputed architect of the Iraq war
We settled on the one issue everyone could agree on, which was weapons of mass destruction, as the core reason.

JOHN DAVID ASHCROFT
(2001-2005)
U.S. Attorney General and Patriot Act enthusiast
The law is not about forgiveness. It is often about vengeance, often about revenge.

DONALD HENRY RUMSFELD
(2001-2006)
Secretary of Defense; noted logician
We do know of certain knowledge that he (Osama bin Laden) is either in Afghanistan, or some other country, or dead.

ALBERTO GONZALES
(2005-2007)
U.S. Attorney General; resigned (or unknowingly fired himself?)
I have great admiration and respect for the men and women who still* work here.
*okay, that bit was mine

Finally, with sincere admiration and regret:

GENERAL COLIN LEWIS POWELL
(2001-2005)
U.S. Secretary of State
I’m the one who presented it on behalf of the United States to the world, and it will always be a part of my record. It was painful then, and (it’s) painful now.

Rest well, heroes.

 

 

 

 

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8 Comments

  1. Martin, December 11, 2007 at 1:05 pm :

    Awesome.

    What’s even sadder is that this is not even close to being a full list.

  2. Dr. Slammy, December 11, 2007 at 1:19 pm :

    1: The Rummy quote does perhaps the best job I’ve ever seen of covering all the bases.

    2: Do not lament Powell’s fall. He should have been smart enough not to get played that way. He has nobody to blame but himself, and we’re better off without the service of anybody dumb enough to be Dubya’s lapdog.

  3. fikshun, December 11, 2007 at 1:24 pm :

    Yeah, I didn’t realize Rummy was such an admirer of Yogi Berra.

  4. elaine, December 11, 2007 at 1:41 pm :

    “We do know of certain knowledge that he (Osama bin Laden) is either in Afghanistan, or some other country, or dead.”

    My favourite – just about covers all the bases.

  5. JS O'Brien, December 11, 2007 at 1:50 pm :

    This is TOO funny!

    So why is it that I’m not laughing?

  6. Dr. Denny, December 11, 2007 at 2:55 pm :

    I doff my hat, more to cover the stink they left behind than to honor those dodos.

    Well done, E.

  7. Ann, December 11, 2007 at 3:34 pm :

    Thanks. But I have a soft spot for Colin Powell: smart people can do dumb things, and I think he has a conscience.

  8. Dr. Slammy, December 11, 2007 at 3:37 pm :

    If he does, it must be hard to sleep at night. He was, too a disturbing extent, the face, the voice and the credibility behind what we have done in Iraq.

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