I was born and raised in the South, a region that’s often misunderstood and mischaracterized by those who’ve never been there. When I moved to the Midwest for grad school I encountered people whose knowledge of the South was pretty much confined to The Andy Griffith Show, The Dukes of Hazzard and Hee-Haw. And they called us stupid.
I’ve tried to live my life in a way that dispelled bad stereotypes about my home. Sadly, not everyone below the Mason-Dixon Line got the memo. Take this guy, the Pride of Kentucky, for instance.
While we’re on the subject of varmints, they’re apparently shooting the sequel to Snakes on a Plane in a Wal*Mart parking lot in Louisiana.
If the Turtleman can afford the gas for a drive down to Savannah, his soulmate is waiting for him. (Alternate caption: Midnight in the Garden of Dat Bitch is Crazy.)
I’m not 100% sure what this is all about, to be honest.
Finally, meet the Southside Virginia Welcome Wagon. Just for texture, please keep in mind that two of S&R’s own have ties to this neighborhood: JS O’Brien grew up there and Jim Booth lives there now. Maybe they can shed a little light….
That’s it for this week, and here’s wishing everybody a beautiful, sunshiny weekend. And remember, when vacationing in the South, if you can hear banjo music you’re not running fast enough.
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This explains a lot about you, Booth and JS, y’know …
The tree beating one was easy: It’s required in the Southside for all men. We called it “pre-marriage physical conditioning.”
The trash can thing is more puzzling. First, this is NOT how we would normally deal with the problem of having our truck’s parking place taken away. Cross burnings on the front lawn, nooses on the trees, or placing your neighbor’s dog’s head on top of the trashcan are a lot more effective and don’t fuck up your truck.
The key to that video was the accent. No WAY was the guy talking to the camera a Southside Virginian. The accent there is very, very distinctive, and that ain’t it. In fact, the guy sounded and looked like a Yankee to me, and an ethnic Yankee at that. He’s a transplant, and that means he could be in terrible peril if the neighbors he went after are true Southside Virginians.
“Midnight in the Garden of Dat Bitch is Crazy.” Great title.
Here’s one for Turtleman: “The South Will Sink Again.”
Or “How to Divest Kentucky of All Its Snapping Turtles in Five Easy Lessons.”
Turtleman says, “I got my teeth knocked out by a chainsaw.”
Oh. My. God.
I want to say stuff. But my mind’s gone furry.
Funny videos.
That brings me to wonder, what part of the South has the reddest of rednecks? Our local rednecks are pretty red, but I’ve encountered some pretty red ones in Arkansas also. Despite the redneck and racist image, Southerners are the friendliest people in the world, and Southern women…….what can I say:)
Jeff
Even Turtle Man doesn’t deserve her as a soulmate.
I am now seeing the Spectre of that long buried film Deliverance…
All the Southerners I’ve met (a grand total of 10) were nice.
No 1 Daughter loves the South…she says the people are friendly and she hasn’t met a toothless one yet.
Not too many of em got out my way in Hawaii. But if you ever watched Dogg the Bounty Hunter while he as on, you know we have our own brand of stupid.
I’ve hit my share of pine trees back in the day. You’ve got about 2.6 seconds before the excruciating pain sets in.
One thing about the South. . . I’ve never been able to rank on it because the racism among the equivalent economic class in the Northeast, where I live, is not that different.
It would be like the US condemning China for human rights violations (kettle calling the pot black, in other words).
Finally, re Turtle Man: Obviously not stupid, he’s playing up the redneck stereotype to an extent. Also, he’s a cunning hunter.
Cunning hunter, BWAHAHAHAHA you obviously know nothing of hunting, Russ.
It isn’t hard to hunt an animal that can’t move or it will be easily found.
All my snappers are protected from assholes like turtle man and I have some that are twice the size of the ones he found. He’d be lucky to have a penis after mine got done with him.
You hit the nail on the head, Gindy. I know nothing of hunting. Thanks for illuminating me.
At first I thought, those were alligator snapping turtles he was catching. I’d seen that technique for catching them on a nature special. Those are primordial creatures and it would have made me even sicker than I was if it were alligator snapping turtles he was catching.
I’m glad your snapping turtles are protected. Private pond, presumably.