I owned an electric green, polyester suit with a green-patterned bow tie that made me look like a rabid leprechaun. The polyester stuff was just the best, wasn’t it? The feel of a thin film of sweat against the skin throughout even the winter months was our sacrifice to textile progress. I never did get all the pins out of some of my shirts, and have the wounds to prove it. I was constantly itching from both sizing rash and the sweat running inside my 100% rayon shirt, a fabric that could never be washed enough to eliminate the fear-sweat smell from a single day in middle school.

Thanks for the memories.

And the laughs.