There is an environmentalist wing of the TI that is very concerned with the incredible number of trees being killed by pine beetles in Colorado (I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Brian was a member). The last time I drove into Denver from California, I was amazed by how many dead trees there were. You can read about it here if you are interested.

http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/insect/05528.html
http://www.newsweek.com/id/148297

Notice how the layer under the bark of trees infested with pine beetles are lined with characteristic tunnels (see Figure 8 in that first link). Remind you of anything?

Anyway, NEWTI (New Environmentalist Wing of TI) has had enough of it. So they have genetically modified the pine beetle slightly so that it now will attack toilet paper instead of trees and released them into several forested areas (such as across the Rockies and in Washington St). Much like the med flies being released in California, these modified beetles are sterile.

http://www.iaea.org/NewsCenter/Features/2007/Medfly/medflycalifornia.html

The NEWTIs believe that this will not only reduce the beetle population, but will also bring awareness of the problem to the public in general by hitting them where it will cause the greatest chaos (have you ever run out of TP in a public restroom?). Not to mention that most government employees do their best thinking in the bathroom.

I have to say I think that the NEWTIs may have been too smart for their own good. The flower pattern is actually an artifact of the sterilization process. Since these poor guys are sterile, they don’t really care all that much about reproducing. So they spend a lot of time tunneling in circles.

JS – I actually thought your astronaut idea was pretty groovy. No word from Ubertramp yet, he may have further intelligence on this subject.

Or the surface of a cookie?