A. Nicholas Cargo

A. Nicholas “Nick” Cargo, Associate Editor of PageOneQ, hails from Denver, Colorado, USA. Cargo lives a life of constant whimsy and excitement.

Pertinent nouns and adjectives include:

• Hexagonal peg.
• Chronic observer of people and things.
• Unpaid humorist and lounge singer.
• Capricorn.

Cargo makes his own college degrees using stickers and construction paper. He is a recent graduate of Lisa Frank University with a BS in Self-Help Novel Composition. He minored in Unicorn Studies.

Likes include:

• Computers
• Exploring the cave of the unknown
• Hot tamales
• Chihuahuas
• Black-capped chickadees
• Collecting records
• Chinese noodles

Dislikes include:

• Tomatoes
• Finding the essence from within

If A. Nicholas “Nick” Cargo could be any musical instrument, he says he would be a theremin. “I don’t talk about it much, but it involves a company carnival, a man in a cape with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, and the Executive Vice President of Customer Service, on all fours, burying the remainder of his barbecued drumstick. Ever since, whenever someone stands in front of me and waves their arm, they gain control of my vocal cords.”

Adds Cargo: “Mimes are especially brutal when they discover my weakness.”

Also: The song was originally going to be called “The Rhythm (And Nick Cargo) Is Gonna Get You.”

This is indeed a disturbing neural net.